Say the word ‘projection’ or ‘projecting’ to anyone in any context of a relationship/seeing someone. The reactions will be universal…sheer panic, whites in their eyes shining brightly, and/or their eyes rolling into a hazy fog screaming, ‘here we go again’.
When you act, it is you and you alone deciding to do so. Yes, there is a plethora of direct and indirect reasoning driving each of our decision-making processes. And sometimes an angel and devil on our shoulders. When it comes down to that moment, be it yes or no, left or right, now or later, jumping or staying, etc the decision rests with each of us.
It is for each of us to own that decision. Own the choice taken on the emphatically fundamental note we each decided for ourselves, not on the condition of anyone else’s actions.
When we share and act in any relationship, be it familiar, casual or more significant, one should not expect anything from the counterpart. We must conduct ourselves with the knowledge and self-security that what we do is for us, and will make us happy at some level.
It is utterly terrifying to act without certainty, particularly when that certainty involves exposing ourselves. Taking a risk, opening part of ourselves, we want to be embraced and have that show of faith reciprocated. If we can come to terms with this need and override it with our self-confidence, we can avoid the fundamental pitfall of projecting/projections & expectations.
Just because we take action and decide to do something, be it big or small, none of us should expect anything from our counterparts. Instead, we must take the strength of mind to know what we do is for ourselves. Choosing to open up makes us happy because we want to share & open ourselves in whatever capacity.
Being assured in ourselves and our actions will remove the sting from the folly of expectation. It will create an environment of confidence and progression. Each respective party in the dynamic can engage at their own pace, feeling they have the space to absorb & give when ready.
