This may seem obvious. As if it’s been staring you in the face like a series of US highway billboards or Superbowl Ad screaming the same ‘just do it’ slogans across the million and one TV’s at the sports bar.
When it comes to health and successful relationships, firstly, let’s be clear, these are not constants. Hang on!!!….Wait to slap the screen….Please….
….Life is full of ups, downs, lefts and rights, and so are relationships. It goes without saying then that there will be the same twists and turns in relationships, but that is half the learning and fun at the same time. If things were a constant, would it not also be as similar to a flatlining patient – no thrill, energy, projects, or learnings on how you both work….mmmmmHmmmmm….
So, how do His and Hers life come together, where is that happy, successful relationship? One thing to try is keeping your life and that of your partners going in a similar capacity when you first started seeing one another. What that means is to keep having your life, with your hobbies, friends, routines, etc.
Now, that does not mean you keep your life separate from your partner – this is the key. Your partner should know your life and what those hobbies, friends and routines are; they should feel integrated and understand the interactions or how you spend that time apart.
Having the ability to both do your own life, yet, having your partner feel welcome and comprehend it, while also having the relationship in which you both are together, is something too few couples do. Throwing and losing themselves in a relationship, their lines, wants, and values, compromising who they are, potentially turning to co-dependency.
Have your space, their space, and the space in which you both come together. His and Her life isn’t to be separate from the other partner; it is for you to retain what you enjoyed before the relationship.
At all points, the other partner should understand your ‘life’ – it is not a secret identity you don, becoming Batman or Wonder Woman when no one is looking. Not everything needs to be shared (pleasures, activities, hobbies) in a relationship, nor should you compromise yourself to enjoy them, which is why this balance is the key.
A space for you to relish in what you like (likewise for them), with a clear open window, and the relationship you both cherish could see a healthier jump.
