In all honesty, it’s difficult for all of us to think about red flags without two things happening…
…One, we all start replaying the endless treasure trove of ‘red flag’ memes in our minds over and over, having a quiet and sometimes water-spitting laugh.
…Two; we take silent stock of our lives and past decisions and wonder how we chose the paths we did. Some of us might feel a biting of sadness, others, frustration & anger.
When people think ‘red flags, ‘ we’ve conditioned this to note a deal-breaker type of warning because of what someone else has said. This could be to do with anything about them and how they function.
Buuuutttttt, ‘Red Flags’ shouldn’t be associated with external warnings; we should use them for our internal functional mechanics!
If we feel ourselves slipping into old toxic habits, be in a relationship-type situation, in a work ethic, health and lifestyle approach. Instead of paying that attention and investing the energy to find someone else’s ‘Red Flags’, that time should be redirected internally. For ourselves. Serve us and keep us on the track we want to be on.
Red Flag ourselves. Not others we don’t need to invest in.
To be able to identify one’s own ‘Red Flags’ is a sign of internal self-reflection and understanding. That can be challenging, unpleasant and often an emotional journey with it. If we have done all that work and gone through all those things to understand ourselves better, why not use it and focus on ourselves?
Let’s not disregard our individual learnings by looking at what’s wrong externally; let’s ensure we stay true to the work and time we have put in & gone through. Stay within our markers because the attention isn’t fixated elsewhere.
It goes without saying there are, of course, external indicators that we all pick up on as markers that we feel may or may not be compatible. Those still matter & considerably so. ‘Red Flags’ does make for a catchy strapline and endless TikTok scrollable content, bbbuttttttt, they shouldn’t be the only ones we consider.
The mental positioning of ‘Red Flags’ should combine both. Internal and External Red Flags.
